今天我才发现。。

原来自己最近拥有很多不同的笑。

今天很不可思议的发现自已原来在内心很生气的时候，我脸上仅然还是笑着的。。

当别人问我：你是在生气吗？为什么你的嘴角还是保持微笑？
我才发现：原来自己已经这么习惯拥有虚伪的笑容了。原来自己已经成功催眠自己在生气时还可以保持笑容了。

很可怕。突然觉得自己很可怕。我竟然可以这么厉害的掩饰我内心的感觉了

好可悲。突然觉得自己很可悲。不是出自真心的笑容怎么能够感动人呢？

或许我在慢慢的适应周围的人吧。

虚伪的笑

自大的笑

牵强的笑

孤立的笑

掩饰的笑

悲伤的笑

无奈的笑

不由自主地笑

我分不清了

哪一种是哪一种

好像一直在眼中不停交错

我讨厌。。这种感觉

 

Oh gosh~im suppose to study my philo n discrete test 2 now!!but im still typing the blog n facebooking!!!n 1 thing that is very serious now is im addicted to my restaurant city!!=_=’’im looking for ingredient everyday n hope I can upgrade the dishes’ level as soon as possible^^~tomato>banana>cheese>basil>strawberry and apple!!!muahaha~~come to me faster la~~

Finally…I get back my fizik test 2 paper ady~!!
result improved a bit but is because we do the first q before the test and sir reli quite not strict in this time d marking~reli wan to thanks our sir~hopefully I got time to do revision and do many questions as many as possible!!To my dear dear dudu:dun be sad about the result la>we work together in our final!!ok??aim for the best^^dun lose ur passionate toward physics!!ok?^^

Now I would like to share 2 of my class party to all of u^^
firstly is my philosophy class party^^hoho~actually it is not really a party la~it is just a replacement class and since we ady finish the syllabus so our sir just said we ordered pizza and eat togthr in the class lo~then we got write a thank you card to sir, eat the chocolate cake and pizzasssss in the class~but mr eddy din eat the pizza becoz there are meats in all the pizza??he said d>although some is not chicken but he know got some kind of meats inside it n is not vege d=_=’’anyway then we eat n “they”  talk a lot about the politics??china??government?? malaysia??hoho~im not interested so I din listen to them and chatting wit my others coursemate~then at the end we take a group photo but unfortunately SARAH d camera hang at that time and the photo din successfully save into the camera!!so sad………but nevr mind la>we shall take 1 more group photo in the class next week^^~

Then the second party is our Music 105 class BBQ Party at the inti bbq pit~One of our coursemate help to organize it and he prepared a lot of chicken wing,many type of fishballs as our lecturer miss lee love to eat fishball,mihun,fruits,drinks and a lot of bbq food of course like hotdog,crabmeat and mash mellow??i dun know how to spell it~paiseh~but I got try 1 yesterday^^not bad~but very sweet la~then credits to all those busy to bbq and serve to us d friends^^thx~veri delicious~then after that we got some performances like our friend,Carmen perform the tap dance,and another miss lee favourite student—Gordon perform his song—“I dun wanna to be”-this is the song that he performed during the inti idol nite^^although he din get the champion but I know everyone ady know he sing very well ^^I got chat wit him as well and know that “he said he can” sing the Chinese song~~XD reli??i see his face like he not sure also~wakak~nevr mind~anyway I like his voice^^~then we all gather together and a guitarist play the song 月亮代表我的心and 情非得已~since both of the songs are so popular so we all just sing along^^not bad~I reaalyy enjoy myself in it~miss lee said tonite is a wonderful gathering and she hope that evry sem she will have the gathering like this as well~haha~when the food,drinks,music,and the people are very nice~there is only 2 words that can describe the party-awesome and memorable^^~hopefully I got chance to take part in others party as well~^0^cheers!!!!

Last but not least……one of the very important secret event is on the way to organize and tonite will be the SHOW TIME^^~I will updated as soon as posssible~wakaka~looking forward for it bah~~hoho~

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.  ~Richard Bach


We only part to meet again.  ~John Gay


Man's feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell.  ~Jean Paul Richter


Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell.  ~Emily Dickinson, "Parting"


Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?  ~Author Unknown


Gone - flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Gone, and a cloud in my heart.
~Alfred Tennyson


Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos.  ~Charles M. Schulz


Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.  ~Henry David Thoreau


How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.  ~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie


Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again!
~Author Unknown


The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.  ~Ivy Baker Priest


Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair.  ~William Cowper


Excuse me, then! you know my heart;
But dearest friends, alas! must part.
~John Gay


To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment.  ~George Lansdowne


May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.  May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.  And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.  ~Irish Blessing


Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.
~Dale Evans


No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.  ~Robert Southey


Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?  ~Richard Bach


Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.  ~Garrison Keillor


What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?
~Frances Anne Kemble


Not to understand a treasure's worth till time has stole away the slighted good, is cause of half the poverty we feel, and makes the world the wilderness it is.  ~William Cowper


She went her unremembering way,
She went and left in me
The pang of all the partings gone,
And partings yet to be.
~Francis Thompson


Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.  ~George Eliot


Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.  ~Kay Knudsen


The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.  ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook


You and I will meet again
When we're least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won't say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again
~Tom Petty


Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.  ~William Shakespeare


In the hope to meet
Shortly again, and make our absence sweet.
~Ben Jonson


Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.  ~Flavia Weedn, Forever, © Flavia.com


So sweetly she bade me adieu,
I thought that she bade me return.
~William Shenstone


But fate ordains that dearest friends must part.  ~Edward Young


Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age.  ~John Dryden


Where is the good in goodbye?  ~Meredith Willson, The Music Man  (Thanks, Thomas)


Distance of time and place generally cure what they seem to aggravate; and taking leave of our friends resembles taking leave of the world, of which it has been said, that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible.  ~Henry Fielding


As the presence of those we love is as a double life, so absence, in its anxious longing and sense of vacancy, is as a foretaste of death.  ~Anna Brownell Jameson


Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.  ~A.A. Milne


As contraries are known by contraries, so is the delight of presence best known by the torments of absence.  ~Alcibiades


May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
~Irish Blessing


Good-byes breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say good-bye to; this hurts, you feel, this must not happen again.  ~Elizabeth Bowen


May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
~Irish Blessing


May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
~Irish Blessing


Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire.  ~Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French


Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.  ~Tryon Edwards


Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.  ~Kahlil Gibran


Farewell, my sister, fare thee well.
The elements be kind to thee, and make
Thy spirits all of comfort: fare thee well.
~William Shakespeare


A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.  ~Helen Rowland


The return makes one love the farewell.  ~Alfred De Musset


You're searching...
For things that don't exist; I mean beginnings.
Ends and beginnings - there are no such things.
There are only middles.
~Robert Frost, Mountain Interval, "In the Home Stretch"


Fare thee well! and if for ever,
Still for ever, fare thee well.
~Lord Byron


May you have warm words on a cool evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.  ~Irish Toast


If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.  ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi


Ye flowers that drop, forsaken by the spring,
Ye birds that, left by summer, cease to sing,
Ye trees that fade, when Autumn heats remove,
Say, is not absence death to those who love?
~Alexander Pope


The best things said come last.  People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart.  ~Alan Alda


May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
~Irish Blessing


That bitter word, which closed all earthly friendships and finished every feast of love farewell!  ~Robert Pollok


One kind kiss before we part,
Drop a tear, and bid adieu;
Though we sever, my fond heart
Till we meet shall pant for you.
~Robert Dodsley


The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it?  ~Nicholas Rowe


Adieu! I have too grieved a heart to take a tedious leave.  ~William Shakespeare


A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
~Irish Blessing


Where'er I roam, whatever realms to see,
My heart untravelled, fondly turns to thee;
Still to my brother turns, with ceaseless pain,
And drags at each remove a lengthening chain.
~Oliver Goldsmith, The Traveller


If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me?  ~Allen Collins and Ronnie Van Zant, "Free Bird," One More From the Road, 1973, performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd


Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.  ~Lazurus Long


May brooks and trees and singing hills
Join in the chorus too,
And every gentle wind that blows
Send happiness to you.
~Irish Blessing


I wanted a perfect ending.  Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.  ~Gilda Radner


Sweet is the memory of distant friends!  Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.  ~Washington Irving


Farewell! a word that must be, and hath been -
A sound which makes us linger; - yet - farewell!
~Lord Byron


Goodbye, goodbye, I hate the word.  Solitude has long since turned brown and withered, sitting bitter in my mouth and heavy in my veins.  ~R.M. Grenon


Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will.  ~Author Unknown


Farewell!
For in that word - that fatal word - howe'er
We promise - hope - believe - there breathes despair.
~Lord Byron


Let's not unman each other - part at once;
All farewells should be sudden, when forever,
Else they make an eternity of moments,
And clog the last sad sands of life with tears.
~Lord Byron


A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again.  ~Author Unknown


A chord, stronger or weaker, is snapped asunder in every parting, and time's busy fingers are not practiced in re-splicing broken ties.  Meet again you may; will it be in the same way?  With the same sympathies?  With the same sentiments?  Will the souls, hurrying on in diverse paths, unite once more, as if the interval had been a dream?  Rarely, rarely!  ~Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton


Never part without loving words to think of during your absence.  It may be that you will not meet again in this life.  ~Jean Paul Richter


Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened.  ~Theodor Seuss Geisel, attributed

TAGGED BY BIG EYE GHOST DOLL-- MR seagull MJ's Wife XD~haha~ from S&W Society

SADness…..

SORROWful…

Flooded….

EMO—ING….

Im juz feel so sad at this time of moment.

Cnt control.Becoz my friends are leaving for Inti…

Preparing  to FLY to US soon~

Wat a wonderful life will there be in US??!!!

I wonder…I wonder how sad I will be if im the one who will be leaving soon…tmr –3 of them are taking the plane to fly bek to HOME!!to prepare for their stuffs to US…

WHY???why??WHY THE time flies so fast??evyone is wondering….

We should feel so hapi for them to get in CALTECH!!NORTHWESTERN!!N WASHINGTON!!!UPENN!!

All the best to my BELOVED FRIENDS^^

Maria,SukSien,Xiao Shan,Sharon Ong,Yih en

TAKE CARE…WE GONNA MISS U ALL SO MUCH~

Im so proud that I got the chance to met u guys^^

All are very talented n clever girls that I ever met before @n_n@

Bye...bye...bye...bye...bye....bye...bye.. Bye...bye...bye...bye...bye....bye...bye..Bye...bye...bye...bye...bye....bye...bye..Bye...bye...bye...bye...bye....bye..

To my dear Sharon:

Im so sorry I cnt teman u for ur last lunch in INTI~I know I dun  hv chance to met u againL but im gonna miss ur loud loud laughing and all the 38 words n actions!!All the best to ur new life^^I know u are a strong girl and u gonna make through the whole journey^^

From dear Chloe….

离别的轨道

 

23.6.2009 半夜十二点~四个女生为了一个男子忙着准备庆祝他生日的surprise  party~
要用蜡烛做出一个爱心的点子~~理所当然是聪明的我想出来的啦^^~
帮助我的室友给他的男朋友制造出最完美的第一次两人一起过的生日~
可爱的气氛~配上傻傻的s&w society members~很难忘的一个回忆~满满的幸福洋溢着~
当事人甜在心头~我们也感受到浓浓的幸福快乐~

爱是要和大家一起分享的~就像eileen的亲亲HAN亲手做的蛋糕吃起来真的很~~甜~~^^~爱的甜~

虽然现在这一刻有很多不开心东西很想忘记~但是却也很想把我现在的这一份感动深深的纪录下来~

今天终于表演了我准备了两个月的music  presentation~但是很可惜的这个表演会成为我的遗憾之一~因为自己唱的歌连自己都感动不了怎么能感动别人呢？？很努力的想配合—她~唱出这首歌的感动~
可是很可惜的就算她练了两个月还是一样的根本没有感情~每个人都跑来问我:她真的是grade 8的吗??为什么会弹成那个样子？她的表演相信大家有目共睹~如果时间倒流，到死我都不会在和她partner了~

另一个grade 8的朋友弹一次就弹出来了，而且我还可以唱得很感动，因为我们很有默契，至少我有感动到自己~
很可惜没有办法和另外这个朋友把我们最好的演出表演给大家~没有让大家听到这首歌感动的地方是我唯一的遗憾~

为了这个表演我留了很多很多委屈的眼泪~为了这个表演我麻烦了很多我爱的朋友们~麻烦大家来安慰我~真的要在这里感谢你们~感谢每次我受委屈时听我控诉的朋友们〉为我抱不平的一对 s&w couple~特地抽出时间来听我练歌的一个大眼美女~谢谢每次听我大吐口水的&不介意我对她乱发脾气&给我蜜糖&半夜一点还陪我走回blok e给我打气的ducky~谢谢最重要每次安慰我帮我想办法和陪我完成今天演出的bubu~谢谢当我唱到喉咙哑给我糖果的傻傻的美女~谢谢愿意借出宝贵keyboard给我的joshua~真的谢谢你帮我拿着10kg的keyboard爬上三楼~还要谢谢特地来看我表演给我打气的coolcool 女郎和古筝美女~还有blurblur的大嘴巫婆虽然miss掉我的表演，可是真的很谢谢她花了二个钟等我讨论~还有每次sent加油打气的sms给我~感谢文学美女和bubu在我大哭时抱着我帮我祷告祝愿我有一颗平静的心~感谢每一个我麻烦的好朋友们~真的很谢谢你们~我一个人的表演就要麻烦到大家~

可是不管怎样~一切都结束了~我看清楚了一个女子有多么可怕的样子~也知道原来自己可以忍耐他人到这种地步~笑脸到自己都很想吐~我不是怕她！！只是不想大家撕破脸罢了~

好了好了~就让一切结束吧~~完结。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

一年了！！！！！！一年了~~~~~~~~~整整一年了~
我在inti的日子今天正式进入一个年头了~
当jpa scholar也officially一年了~~

一年说快不快~说短不短~今天是juniors们来inti报到的日子~
回想起一年前的我在今天也是战战兢兢的要开始新的生活~兴奋里头加扎着很多的不安~不知道自己会过得好不好~会不会很想家~会不会考试不好~那些有的没的一大堆~现在那些juniors的心情一定和当年的我们一样~
现在站在另一个角度看去看“当年的我们”〉〉感觉没什么差~觉得大家就应该要开始慢慢的适应这里的生活~融入当下~

这一年来的风风雨雨让我真的真的成长了不少~
经历了不同的事物~看尽了不同的嘴脸~学会了什么事都要靠自己~
毕竟在外头就是要自己努力勇敢的生活~认识了很多不同的人~
学会了应该用什么方法要应付不同的人~
有时候太过在意~受伤的只会是自己~
又长大一岁了~理所当然的成熟在所难免~要学会更加独立照顾自己~

感谢上帝让我在这一年里认识到那么多的好人好事~
感谢所有朋友这一年来的互相扶持~
感谢家人和所有我爱的人的鼓励和支持~
没有你们~我走不到现在这步~

还有多一年要在这里~希望一切会很好~加油^^~